Mass Suicide of Whales

First, before we explore all the nuances of this perfect tragedy, I'd like to thank our loyal reader Garit for tipping us to this story.

To begin:

At least 55 whales stranded on a beach near Cape Town were put down or died after rescue teams failed to return them to the ocean, a sea rescue institute said on Sunday.

"We don't know if any of those we managed to get back to the water had survived ... one of them just washed up at the rocks around the Kommetjie lighthouse this morning and this could continue over the week," spokesman Craig Lambinon said.

Marine scientists and volunteers worked all day to try to get the whales back into the water, but many were pushed back ashore by waves.

Rescuers had battled to keep the beached adults and calves wet and used earth-moving equipment to try to save them.

To make matters worse:

Scientists shot 42 of the false killer whales on Saturday and 13 others perished, possibly from internal injuries, at Kommetjie Beach, the National Sea Rescue Institute (NSRI) said. (as a point of clarification they were forced to shoot those whales considered beyond saving)

And it appears to be a complete mystery why the whales did this:

Lambinon said it was unclear why the whales had come ashore early in the day and it was the first mass beaching of whales he knew of on the popular stretch of coast.

Here at the Perfect Tragedy blog it isn't the great mystery the baffled marine biologists seem to think it is. It's clearly one of two things:

1. A loathsome plot by a rival pod of whales. This is, generally speaking, unlikely because if you've watched any movies about animals you'd know they are mostly nice creatures with the purest of motives; that is, unless they are cats, hyenas, or gaunt lions next in line to the throne, but since none of those live in the ocean we have to assume it is mostly likely not option one that caused this mass beaching.

2. Rather, it is mostly likely that all these whales were members of a pod cult (not to be confused with current owners of iPods). This cult of whales experienced a psychology similar to the Jim Jones cult. Most likely their beliefs contained a heavy Apocolyptic ethos that infused this act of self destruction with a perceived virtue.

What does this information tell us about the attempts of the rescuers to save the whales?

It reveals to us the arrogance of the marine biologist and the citizen whale rescuer. First, who are we to tell another culture/race/for that matter species what they should or shouldn't believe. I mean haven't we learned anything from the past eight years of G.W. Bush? You can't run around the world telling people how to live no matter how destructive the belief is. You just end up making things worse. Here we are trying to deny them their paradise reinforcing the belief in other whales that humans will never stop telling them what to do, thus empowering the apocalyptic cults by perpetuating a belief that the only means to find control in their life is through mass suicides.

Stop rescuing the whales!!! They have rights!